TEN DAYS IN THE LIFE OF.... US

Here are some photos of what's been going on lately in our home....

On February 10th Bob and I celebrated our 22nd Wedding Anniversary!  Has it really been that long?  Sometimes it feels like it, other times it feels like it was just yesterday!

He took me to Fogo de Chão - a Brazilian Churrascaria.  Basically you feel like you eat an entire farm worth of animals. Chicken, Pork, Lamb, Beef, you name it. Cooked in all sorts of ways.  Their salad bar is amazing:  quail eggs, asparagus, all sorts of salads and fruits, and all the vegetables you can imagine prepared in yummy delicious ways! Their staff and service are excellent.  VERY attentive and well-mannered.  Their dessert is delicious.

This is the face my beloved makes when he tastes something that is super-oober delicious... I HAD to catch it on film for posterity's sake! haha!

Speaking of which, we were so full we didn't order dessert, but when our waitress found out it was our anniversary, she brought us a beautiful dessert to celebrate - on the house!  Yummy "Pastel de Tres Leches" (cake that is soaked with three different kinds of milk after baking.)

And to top off the evening - one of my very favorites!  FLOWERS!!!  I know that roses are "the" flower, and while I love all flowers, Carnations are my very favorite! I love how they look like lace, they smell like flower-scented powder, and they LAST FOREVER!  And you can't go wrong with "happy" daisies!! It made my heart happy! :)

Moving on.... At the end of last week I finished all the levels of a fun iPhone application called "Let's Create Pottery!"  Here are a couple of samples that I created....

Now if I could only do it in real life! Wouldn't that be FUN!?

Also, I recently joined a produce co-op that tries to get as much "local" and organic produce as is possible.  It's only $15 per "basket" (bi-monthly) and the produce is the BEST I've ever seen.  Huge, fresh, and delicious!  I think I'm hooked!

Earlier this week Bob went to Portland, Oregon, on a quick business trip.  While there he thought he'd go check out the Portland Temple.

He also brought Emily back a little surprise:  some cute heart-shaped earrings that have ash inside them from Mt. St. Helen's.  She was so happy about it, especially since she's been taking a Geology class at our homeschool co-op and has learned a bit about volcanoes and volcano ash! :)

Bob and Emily went to Walmart tonight where she found this pink pig pillow pet, which reminded her of me.  So she asked Bob to take a picture of it and send it to me.  He did.  And it warmed my heart.  I heart piggies!  (see her new earrings she's wearing!?)

Here is a picture of what I do with my salad greens.... (thought I'd share my little secret)....

I put a damp paper towel on the bottom of the tupperware, made damp by cold water.  Then I tear up the lettuce, mix it all with Baby Spinach and put it in the bowl and cover it with another cold-water dampened paper towel.  Put the lid on and you're good to go.  I don't know why, but the paper towels make all the difference!

And finally tonight Emily put on a "Webkinz Birthday Party" for Lily (black lab), Sofie (pink cockatoo), and Saphira (pink dragon) along with Josefina (the "Mexican" American Girl doll.)  She is my little homemaker and took great care to arrange the Twinkies in just the right way. We hold a Webkinz Birthday Party almost each month to "celebrate" that/those Webkinz special days.  Really, it's only an excuse to have Ding Dongs or Twinkies which I would never buy otherwise.  I haven't had Twinkies in about a year, and when I ate one tonight it tasted so blah and bland.  Yuck!  All it tasted like was lard.  But don't tell Emily I said that. :)

THE PRODIGAL

I've learned something new.

I've been thinking about the story of the prodigal son lately (Luke 15:11-32).  And here is what I've come to learn and understand:

The son insisted, through word and action, that he knew what was best, he knew what he wanted.  So the father, after seeing that all his counsel and talks were of no effect, finally let his son go.  But he did not follow him.  He did not check up on him.  He did not enable him either.  He did not help him in any way.  He simply allowed his son to leave and go live "in the world." 

We know that eventually the son learned his lesson, as life always has a way of teaching us.  He returned, hoping to become a servant. But the father rejoiced and took him in. 

That doesn't mean the son received again all of his inheritance.  No.  He had foolishly spent it.  So all that the Father had now belonged to the son who had remained by the father's side.  He had been true and faithful.  But the prodigal son was at least able to enjoy their company and be with them.

As a parent, it is hard when we teach our child one thing, and they insist, through action and/or word that they know better, and they want something other than what you taught them.  But they must learn for themselves.  And it's ok.  The Lord watches over each of us.  So there is no safer place to leave our daughter, but in the Lord's hands.

I just pray that she learns her lesson sooner than later.  I love my little prodigal so much!

I love the Lord and am thankful for the Scriptures that teach us all we need to know to overcome our trials in life and endure well to the end.

LORD, WHICH PART IS MINE?

No one told me how HARD it would be to be a mother. But I think deep down, instinctively, I knew.  I think all women know.

Lately I've had a hard load to haul. Our eldest is going through some tough times. While my heart goes out to her, it also must remain sane, firm, leveled, rational, mature, and in-tune with the Spirit.  I do have two other children that still need me and depend one me daily after all.  Ever heard of "tough love"?  That is what I'm having to dish out.  I hate it.  I think it is most definitely the toughest thing a mother has to do.

Without disclosing the particulars, one can only believe The Little Boy That Cried Wolf so many times before your heart becomes numb and stops believing all together.  Then it is a long, long road back to trust again.  She says "I mean it this time," but how can that be measured while looking through the glass of time (as recently as 24 hours) and hearing the echoes of promises made and broken?  One cannot.

The question comes to mind: "How oft shall I forgive?  Until seventy times seven?"  Yes.  What about "forget"?  There are some things you cannot forget.  At least not until the danger is past.  Another question that comes to mind: "What is the difference between "NEVER give up hope" and "never give up HOPE"?"  I'm having to learn that one the hard way.  The jury is still out on that one, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I should remember that through Christ ALL things are possible, but also they are possible really only when the person involved opens their heart and soul up to Christ and not only INVITES Him to enter, but ALLOWS Him to change their heart.  So I should NEVER give up HOPE THROUGH CHRIST, but it's normal, and even OK to give up on "expectations" from the troubled person, while completely leaving them in the Lord's hands, and trusting His timing and omnipotence.

The Lord sends these precious, valiant Spirits to us, to raise, nurture, guide, teach, love, and show them the way back to Him.  He entrusted US with this child for very specific reasons.  When does it stop being "I'm not giving up hope, and I will always do what I can to help my child!" and when does it start being "she's taking advantage of the love, the situation, the help, and has no true intention of changing the heart"?  When is the right moment to allow the Prodigal to LEAVE the home?  The father of the Prodigal did not KEEP his son home after so much evidence that the son WANTED to lead a different life.  He did not allow the son home, either, UNTIL the son was truly repentant and prepared to change his heart.  As a parent, I have found that it is not easy to know where that fine line is drawn in the sand.  And my heart wants to skip ahead to the part where the Prodigal returns and I can joyfully embrace that child in my arms, and shed tears of joy, for my child that was once lost, is found again.  But if I did that, it would thwart the entire process.

And so I pray.  I talk with my eternal companion. I study the scriptures.  I listen to the Spirit's whispers.  And I watch to see the "fruit" that falls from this child's "tree".  That is the best I can do.  It is the best anyone can do.  Then I hold to my faith. That same faith that has proved me herewith. That same faith that has carried me through the valleys of the shadows of death so many times. That same faith that has shone and lit the way for me as a beacon upon the open seas as the storms of life have come crashing down around me.  That same faith that is like an old, comfortable friend of mine.

Tonight, the "tough love" experiences have begun with our youngest.

It's funny, at this age.  She is deathly afraid of "bugs."  She saw some ants in the girl's bathroom about 2 years ago. Since that time, she has refused to shower or go potty in there.  Wow.  Really?  (I say that so easily, because I'm not 9 years old, and I'm not afraid of bugs.)  Well, recently we have had a problem with Carpenter Ants in the Master Bedroom.  You can see some of the ant "droppings" (bug parts) on the carpet, next to the wall, by the bathroom door.  (I'm waiting for Bob to get home so he and Jonathan can "fix" this problem).  So, she refused to go in the bathroom tonight, even though she had to potty really badly.  I decided to try to "lovingly" coerce her into going potty alone... "so she can learn".  So I played tough.  For AN HOUR AND A HALF!!!

After 1.5 hours of crying, tears, buggers, and "talks", she wrote me anote and brought it in.  Mind you, by this time she had "held" it so long, that she no longer needed to go!!!

Her note read (and I type in original spelling)" "Mama you dont noe haw sorey I am.  But I cant go to the bathroom witawt you. I'm so so so so sory"

My heart softens and breaks for this valinat little girl.  I'm trying to teach her something that she needs to learn.  But here gain - where is that fine land in the sand?  When is it the right time FOR HER to "learn" this "lesson"?  For some kids it's when they are 2 years old.  For others when they are 5, and yet others when they are 10.  Maybe even later.  Maybe never. 

This is when my memory goes back in time and remembers the greatest piece of parenting advice I think I have ever received.  It came from my dear friend's mother.  This sweet lady had 9 children.  ALL of them are wonderful, righteous men and women today.  NONE of them had "issues" with sex, drugs, alcohol, or anything other "bad" thing.  They're not perfect, but they are above average on the "good kid" scale.  So I asked her:  "How did you do it?"  Her answer was that it was more a process of elimination rather than a process of "choosing".  They didn't know too well what they wanted to teach their kids when they first started out, but they certainly knew what they did NOT want their children to learn.  But by far the most important thing is to remember that YOU are called upon by GOD to raise this child.  YOU, and ONLY YOU (and your husband) have the Divine authority to receive revelation and inspiration with regard to this child.  NO EXPERT will ever know better than YOU what this child will need if you follow the Lord's guidance. The Holy Ghost will tell you the truth of ALL things - especially where your child is concerned.  Do not listen to the experts.  Listen to the Spirit. 

I have.  And it has proven INVALUABLE to me.  So... why do I still find it hard to remember that sometimes? Why do I find it hard to DO?  Perhaps because I am still human and this carnal nature of mine wants to take over and have complete control over situations.  But I have to do what I can to remember that I am not the one in control.  God is. 

So, I turn to Him.  I rely on Him.  I trust in Him.  Wholly.

I LOVE our children.  It HURTS SO MUCH to have a child turn from everything you know to be true and right, and to passively-aggressively and purposely do the opposite due to enmity toward you.  All because they made wrong choices years ago, and those choices have now led them to a place a misery, un-trustworthyness, pride, and enmity.  It is SO CLEAR for Bob and me to "see" the path that has led her to where she is.  SO CLEAR to "see" WHY she is filled with enmity, confusion, anger, frustration, anxiety, loneliness, and self-doubt.  And it is SO EASY to see the path that she needs to take to get back to safety, peace, and true joy.  But it is nigh impossible to describe it all to that child.  Especially as they are filled with all those negative emotions and thoughts. 

Satan truly is wise, patient, and sneaky.  He can wait for generations, before biting his victims. 

But the Lord is greater still.  And the Power of His Holy Priesthood will reign supreme.  And I, for one, am eternally THANKFUL that His one true Gospel is in my life, shinning that beacon on my path and lighting the way to a brighter tomorrow.

Whether or not our children end up living their lives as we have taught them, will have to be up to them. This is a lesson I have been learning and internalizing the past four years.  Believe me, it is a hard lesson to swallow.  I am finally beginning to see the reality that the "real" relationship here is the one between my dear, sweet husband and me.  Not the one with our children or extended families.  I don't mean to say that those relationships don't matter.  Of course they do.  But the ONE relationship (aside from my relationship with God) that will matter most in Eternity, is the one I have with Bob.  Nothing should be allowed to damage that relationship, not even our relationships with our children.  For one day those children will be gone and living their own "Eternal" relationships with their own spouses, and the two people left in our home will be just that:  Bob and me.  No one else.  The time will be gone when we can raise and teach and train our children. 

For our eldest that time is almost past.  At almost 21 years old she has been taught and is now NEEDING to be away from the "nest" and flying on her own.  She must make her own decisions, and live with her own consequences, without interference from me and without my "reminders" that the path she is on is not the right one.

Perhaps for her, sadly, the wrong path might be the needed path - at least for a while. I would pray not.  But I must trust that the Lord will watch over her much better than I ever could, and if HE is able to "let her go", then certainly I must too.

This is the lesson I have learned in the past 24 hours.  I must let her go. 

It will be the hardest thing I've ever done in my earthly life. No question about that.

As for our youngest - some pest control, vacuuming, and TLC will do the trick for now.  But I wonder:  "what awaits down the road for her in 10 more, short, years?"


At times like these, I like to listen to this song by Michael McLean. It's titled "Which Part Is Mine?"  You can LISTEN HERE - and you can read the LYRICS HERE.

LOVING THESE "CABIN FEVER" DAYS!

Lately we've a had A LOT of snow (for Texas!) and we've been LOVING it! :)

Of course, that means that we've also been house-bound.  Now, I have read alot on facebook from various folks how its driving them crazy to be house-bound with their kids.  Most of the mothers "can't wait" until school starts again and have their kids gone and occupied.  They feel like they have to occupy their kids at home round-the-clock, hence at the end of the 3rd or 4th day of "snow bound"edness they are tired and ready to ship their kids back to school. 

I have found that reading these posts makes my heart sad for those kids.  Sad for the families.  I LOVE having my kids at home and being "house-bound" with them, and just have "down time" where we don't have schedules, classes, etc., dictating our schedule.  Now, don't get me wrong, we have plenty of our share of arguing or other issues, but by and large I love being home with my kids.  I love to have them around. I love to see my kids learn new things and see that 'light of understanding' go off inside their heads.  I love to be there by their side when they make new discoveries, or better yet when I help them make those new discoveries. You can see it in their eyes! It's exciting.  I feel like sending them off to school every day would be akin to sending off your baby to the sitters and only hearing about the time the child learned to walk, or hearing about the time your child learned to hold the cup by themselves, or the first time they learned to go potty.  No thank you.  I love being at home with my kids.  I love to be there when all those crucial and "destiny-shaping" moments happen.

Now, I'm fully aware that most of us are products of the very "conveyor belt" factory we call public education in this nation.  For a few years, from 8th grade through 12th grade, I was too.  And we do tend to believe that it is the best way,... in fact, the only true way, to educate.  Thank heavens though I was raised in a place and time that was much different, and as I look back on it now, I have come to realize that my primary education, (grades K-5th,) actually took place in a HOME school.  I could hardly believe it when I really sat down and pondered it. 

I grew up attending a private school that was held in the teacher's home.  The older sister taught grades K-1st, and the younger sister taught grades 2nd-5th.  We were all together in one class room.  We all had to buy our own desks.  I remember mine was cool because it was not only solid wood, but it was painted a cool dark teal color! I loved it.  We would do Math separately, but all other subjects we would work on together.  The teacher would bring out real-life objects to teach us lessons.  I remember learning about the parts of a fruit by watching her (and sometimes helping her) peel an orange, study the parts, and eat the orange.  I remember learning about the parts of a flower by cutting one of her flowers off the bush and bringing it in and tearing it apart carefully to see all its "parts."  I remember being assigned CHAPTERS  of history or science that our grade would have to copy into our notebooks, while she was busy Math to the other grade(s).  I remember the other kids in other grades copying THEIR chapters into their notebooks while our grade did Math. I remember that part of our education was cleaning her home.  She had a big colonial style home where the house surrounded the yard.  She would send two of the older kids to the store around the corner with cash to buy cleaning supplies, etc.  She would ALWAYS questions us about the amount she gave us, the amount the supplies cost, and the amount we got back in change, and we'd have to tell her if that was the correct change.  I remember us kids taking turns selling treats at recess time.  Three cookies for $0.20.  We'd have to make change.  We'd have to count the money earned that day.  I also remember the older boys (5th graders) would be called upon to go out into the yard, into the chicken coop, and pick out the chicken she had designated, and then kill the chicken.  They would grab it by the neck, swing it over head many times over to "twist" the next  real tight, then with one swell whoop of the arm/wrist, they would "throw" the chicken down to the ground while maintaining their hold on the head.  This would break the head off the chicken, and I remember the bodies, every single time, would hit the ground then start running around the yard!  It was so interesting to watch.  Hence I got first-hand experience what it meant when I first heard the saying "running around like a chicken without my head on." :)

We would also be called upon to clean the chicken coop, gather the eggs, separate them into dozens, and our favorite part:  adopting a baby chick east spring when they were born.  There were enough for everyone to adopt one.  We'd help take care of it and feed it until it grew up.  Then the next year, we'd adopt another chick. SO SOFT AND FLUFFY!

Each year we'd also help her set up her huge Nativity set.  This is no ordinary Nativity!  We'd begin by clearing what was akin to the "entry waiting area" (like a small family room.)  We'd set up two long tables in an "L" shape then put buckets, books, boxes, etc. all over them to create "hills".  Then we'd cover it with a homemade "background" paper (I have no idea what it was made out of, but it was awesome!)  This was multi-colored painted to look like dirty, grass, rocks, etc.  Then another "background" on the wall that was painted to look like the night sky - stars, even a comet! and of course the Star of Bethlehem.  Then we'd go to work on the Nativity - my favorite part was the "pond" made by using an oblong mirror piece with the sides covered with spanish moss and other "plants" then placing the geese and ducks on it. It looked like a REAL pond!  Then there were adobe houses (lit on the inside with tiny Christmas lights), shepherds on the hills with all their flocks, trees, bushes, farm animals, and of course the Holy Family and the Three Wise Men.  I remember one year she won the city's Nativity Contest. It was an amazing Nativity set. 

These sisters provided a homeschool for us kids.  We learned to do chores, run errands, handle a small business, do "farm work," and more.  She's take us to Church too for special events like Lent/Easter, etc. (She was Catholic).  She even has US teach the younger kids the Catholic Catechism, which, by the way, she told me I was her best teacher! Haha! Go figure! I wasn't even Catholic!

This was a true homeschool in every sense.  I learned the most from this teacher, even though at the time I didn't want to admit that. From 8th grade through 12th grade I did not need to study one whit, because I had already learned all that stuff from this humble private "home-school" in Mexico.  I was bored in school from 8th-12th grade. And because I didn't need to study during those years, I actually forgot how to study and had to re-learn that little trait when I went off to BYU to attend college!

So, back to main point.... I love to homeschool and I feel so blessed and thankful to be able to do it with my kids.  Yes, it's very hard to do.  Especially with today's kids who, through osmosis, seem to absorb this attitude of entitlement from the world around them and the media of the day.   They feel much more comfortable telling ol' Mom "I don't want to", when they would rarely think of saying such a thing to a stranger they call "teacher" in public school.  But the benefits far out-weight the costs. 

For one, we don't suffer cabin fever by staying home together.  Also, I have noticed the two times we did put our kids in public school, that when kids are in public school, they tend to have so many physical rules they must follow while at school that unnatural for a child at that age (the standing in lines with your hands behind your back, or the waiting for bathroom time at certain times of days, or the no talking or moving at all for the majority of the day, etc.etc.) that they tend to go wild when they get home.  They have SO much pent-up energy within that they explode.  They also learn quickly to be told what to do almost every minute of the day, so they are not allowed to lead out on their own and in their own direction. They *must* follow the 'norm'.  They become accustomed to being "entertained" every minute of the day, instead of learning to entertain themselves and develop their own patterns and imagination in the way that is most natural for them. Hence when they get home, and if they are "house-bound" for any amount of time, it's no wonder why they drive their parents insane!  I did notice, too, that the public school institution tends to separate siblings more than unite them.  When you study John Dewey (the "father" of modern public education), you learn that one of his objectives in designing the public school system the way he did was to separate the siblings by ages, and in due time this would help separate the entire family so that these kids could grow up believing in and learning what the Government/system was needing them to believe/learn rather than what the parents wanted their children to believe/learn.  It's all sad and evil.  Just one more ploy of Satan's to separate the family. But most people today don't have any idea what is behind public education.  If they did, they would NEVER even think of sending their precious children off to be indoctrinated in the "school" system.  And sadly, most LDS people have no idea of how the Prophets of this last dispensation pleaded and begged the members of the Church to NEVER entrust their children to the "free government schools," for it would be the ruin of our families.  Well, the members didn't listen.  Like the ancient Israelites in Joshua's day, they didn't want to stay put and follow the Lord's way.  They wanted to be and do as their neighbors did.  So, just as in Joshua's day, the Lord and His Prophets finally gave up and, in essence, said "ok - if this is what you're going to insist on doing, I cannot force you to do it the right way. I guess you'll have to learn the hard way."  So ever since that time the prophets have urged us to have Family Home Evening, to teach teach teach our kids inside our home, and to stay close to what they are doing in public schools as much as possible.  They gave us Seminary as well, and they constantly advise us to do these things to keep SOME sort of a protective barrier around our children as they learn and grow in this world. 

If anyone reads this and is interested in learning all about the standing of the LDS Church in regards to education please read the greatest book ever written on the subject titled "Revealed Educational Principles and the Public Schools" by Jack Monnett, PhD (1999).  VERY interesting, insightful, and educational reading!!!  You can purchase it HERE.  I think it costs about $16.00.

Anyway - I'm THANKFUL I can home school.  The more I do it, the more convinced I become that it is the best educational option in today's world.  It may not be what the Lord's way of doing school - only because no one supported those kinds of schools, so we don't have them any more.  But it is most definitely the second best.  I WISH we lived in a time and place that allowed and believed in and supported the Lord's model of schools.  But perhaps that's to be saved for the next life. 

Now, all that being said, I must add a small disclaimer that I do not believe that all kids get ruined in public schools.  I think there a very few who are able to participate in such an endeavor and come out the better for it.  However, I believe that's a very small few when compared to all of humanity in this world.  By comparison, I believe that as you look at, and compare, percentages, that homeschooled kids fare 99% better than their public school counter parts when it comes to not only their education but more importantly to their mental, spiritual, emotional, and even physical well-being.

I used to be a firm believe in the public school system.  I used to "one of them".  It has taken me years of research and study and pondering and praying to come to the place I am now.  Experience is a great teacher.  I hope that one day my children will be able to do as they currently hope to do, and that is to home educate their own children.  It truly is the most natural way to educate and learn.  Do it together!

I'm happy to be snowed-in and "house-bound".  I love being with my family and not have to worry about places to go and schedules to keep. Even taking into consideration all our craziness! ;9)  <--- that's my piggy smiley!