... And it's not just me. I've already read like 3 or 4 facebook friends state today that they are glad the day is OVER! ME TOO! Let's see - here's what's been on my plate lately:
1.) Our beautiful daughter has been making so many bad choices in the past 4 years that we had to invite her to move out. She continued making bad choices and her kind, sweet, roommate (who was her visiting teacher and had taken her in to give her a chance and opportunity to turn things around), also found herself having to invite her to move out... after only 10 days. Now, another sweet and big-hearted friend has offered to let her move in. The bad thing is this friend is very young, married only 9 months and has financial and marital difficulties to overcome herself. The last thing she and her husband need is our daughter's problems. But they don't have the blessing of wisdom that comes with age and experience. So they opened their home, and in their eyes it's a great thing because now they can all "split" the rent. Meanwhile, our lovely daughter is unrecognizable to us. She has been passive-aggressive, defiant, and down right stubborn, and all while putting on a "good face" and making everyone around her (including her family, her Church friends, her boyfriend, and her non-Church friends) think that she's doing "Fantabulous", she's responsible, she's got everything under control, and nothing is going to stop her. God bless her and watch over her. As a parent, I can say this is the hardest thing I've ever done. To just sit back and watch her ruin her life, knowing that there is nothing we can say or do that will change her mind and help her see that her paradigm is really, really messed up. May Heavenly Father bless us all. I cannot go through this without His help. None of us can. We do the best we can. We have taught our children correct principles. She knows better. But she also has her agency and no one, including us, can take that from her. Nor should we. The Spirit has told us to let her go. This is how she insists on "learning". So be it. But let me tell you, it is very heart-wrenching to say "no" when your own child asks if they can come back home "just until (they) find a roommate?" "No."
2.) It seems that every single year when there is General Conference that our plumbing decides it's time to have problems. So it was this time. Like an alarm clock, our Bathrooms (two of them) over flowed with toilet water coming up from the base of the toilet. It was Saturday night when it happened, and Home Depot and other stores were already closed. Bob went on the Sabbath to buy a chemical to flush down the toilet and see if that would help. That way he wouldn't have to work and get nasty-dirty if he didn't need to on the Sabbath. But no, the chemical didn't work. So today after work he got home, put on his grubbies and went to work on the plumbing with our great son, Jonathan. It's been 4 hours now, and they finally fixed it! Yay! Now... I'm thinking that in October when we have the next General Conference we'll just rent the machinery from Home Depot on Friday, so that we'll be ready for the weekend!
3.) Is it just us, or is everyone feeling the terrible WEIGHT of Obama's STUPID decision to "end" the recession by plunging us into a bigger recession? Gas prices are almost tripled. Food prices too. Clothing is doubled. Everything has increased in price. I no longer have enough in my "allowance" to make ends meet. So several things are going to have to "give". It's only three days past payday and I'm completely out of money! Nothing depresses me more nor faster than not having ANY money to cover those expenses for the next two weeks: where will I get the money to buy that bread, eggs, or milk that will surely run out before next paycheck? What about personal hygiene items, fruits and veggies? What about ... oh you get what I mean. It is so depressing! The "silver lining" to this is that we have lived by cash alone since 1995. So we are not in debt (other than cars and mortgage of course) and we do not owe anything or anybody. We just make sure we pay our tithing and fast offerings, and we put our trust and faith in Heavenly Father. He has ALWAYS taken care of us and watched over us. We have never lacked for food, shelter and clothing so long as we were faithful in paying our tithing and fast offerings.
4.) Earlier today our oldest daughter (see #1 above) posted on her facebook that she needs a job. Wow. She got fired. She calls it "quitting" - her boss simply stopped giving her hours, for the past three weeks! He would tell her to come in and then she would sit there for two hours "waiting to be clocked in" and finally he'd say "we won't need you today after all". After three weeks she finally caught on. So she "quit". Well, at least that way this employer doesn't have to pay her unemployment now. So now, because I'm forever a mother and will never stop being a mother, I am worried about her financial situation too. But I'm trying hard to put it behind me and not think about it. That is her life, her choices, her consequences. We have taught her that she lives up to her covenants and the Lord's commandments, the Lord will bless her. As soon as she stops, He withdraws His blessings. A couple of weeks ago I saw this coming on, when they hired a full time gal to work as cashier and put Jessica "outside" again (selling carwashes)... which is something she had not done well at before. So I knew then that she was on the way out. But her OVERLY positive attitude kept her from seeing it.
So... I sit here typing. I'm stressed. I feel alone. I feel frustrated. I feel anxious. I feel like my house is falling apart (so many things need to be repaired or replaced!) I feel like my daughter is going further and further into the Great and Spacious building (read about that vision of the prophet Lehi HERE.) I feel like my husband is tired of hearing my worries. I feel like I've been less of a mother to my kids than I should have been. I feel like there is a power of darkness is trying hard to tear our family to pieces. But when I feel all these things, I remember my Savior and what He has done for me (for all of us!) I remember the great love He has for me. I remember that the powers that are pulling for me on the other side, are greater than the powers of darkness that are trying to pull me down. I listen to music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and I can't help but feel His Spirit envelop me and calm me. I read the Scriptures and I am reminded of what is real and true and what is of most value.
All these things will be for my good. Of that I am confident. I know that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. In Elder Gibbons talk during the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference he made reference to the fact that when we have difficult children or problem children in our lives, perhaps we need to think more in terms of: "The Lord knew I would need this experience just as much as my son/daughter would need this experience." That by going through this it would "polish" me and help me grow in patience and wisdom. It is actually helping me become whom I was intended to become. The same can be said for Jessica.
So, I will continue pressing forward, with an eye single to the glory of God. I know in whom I have place my trust. He is my Redeemer, the Savior of the world. In Him, and through Him, all things are possible and will work together for the good of those who place their faith and trust in Him. I am so thankful for the knowledge that the true Gospel of Jesus Christ brings into my life. It is truly a lamp unto my path.
So, yes... today was a horrible day. But tomorrow the sun will rise and it will be a new opportunity to live my life again. Today is done. Time to focus on renewing myself for tomorrow. I love my Father Heavenly and I love my Savior. I love my husband and my children and I look forward to the day that we will spend eternity together, working for the glory of God and having put disease, evil, problems, and other "issues" behind us. :)
1.) Our beautiful daughter has been making so many bad choices in the past 4 years that we had to invite her to move out. She continued making bad choices and her kind, sweet, roommate (who was her visiting teacher and had taken her in to give her a chance and opportunity to turn things around), also found herself having to invite her to move out... after only 10 days. Now, another sweet and big-hearted friend has offered to let her move in. The bad thing is this friend is very young, married only 9 months and has financial and marital difficulties to overcome herself. The last thing she and her husband need is our daughter's problems. But they don't have the blessing of wisdom that comes with age and experience. So they opened their home, and in their eyes it's a great thing because now they can all "split" the rent. Meanwhile, our lovely daughter is unrecognizable to us. She has been passive-aggressive, defiant, and down right stubborn, and all while putting on a "good face" and making everyone around her (including her family, her Church friends, her boyfriend, and her non-Church friends) think that she's doing "Fantabulous", she's responsible, she's got everything under control, and nothing is going to stop her. God bless her and watch over her. As a parent, I can say this is the hardest thing I've ever done. To just sit back and watch her ruin her life, knowing that there is nothing we can say or do that will change her mind and help her see that her paradigm is really, really messed up. May Heavenly Father bless us all. I cannot go through this without His help. None of us can. We do the best we can. We have taught our children correct principles. She knows better. But she also has her agency and no one, including us, can take that from her. Nor should we. The Spirit has told us to let her go. This is how she insists on "learning". So be it. But let me tell you, it is very heart-wrenching to say "no" when your own child asks if they can come back home "just until (they) find a roommate?" "No."
2.) It seems that every single year when there is General Conference that our plumbing decides it's time to have problems. So it was this time. Like an alarm clock, our Bathrooms (two of them) over flowed with toilet water coming up from the base of the toilet. It was Saturday night when it happened, and Home Depot and other stores were already closed. Bob went on the Sabbath to buy a chemical to flush down the toilet and see if that would help. That way he wouldn't have to work and get nasty-dirty if he didn't need to on the Sabbath. But no, the chemical didn't work. So today after work he got home, put on his grubbies and went to work on the plumbing with our great son, Jonathan. It's been 4 hours now, and they finally fixed it! Yay! Now... I'm thinking that in October when we have the next General Conference we'll just rent the machinery from Home Depot on Friday, so that we'll be ready for the weekend!
3.) Is it just us, or is everyone feeling the terrible WEIGHT of Obama's STUPID decision to "end" the recession by plunging us into a bigger recession? Gas prices are almost tripled. Food prices too. Clothing is doubled. Everything has increased in price. I no longer have enough in my "allowance" to make ends meet. So several things are going to have to "give". It's only three days past payday and I'm completely out of money! Nothing depresses me more nor faster than not having ANY money to cover those expenses for the next two weeks: where will I get the money to buy that bread, eggs, or milk that will surely run out before next paycheck? What about personal hygiene items, fruits and veggies? What about ... oh you get what I mean. It is so depressing! The "silver lining" to this is that we have lived by cash alone since 1995. So we are not in debt (other than cars and mortgage of course) and we do not owe anything or anybody. We just make sure we pay our tithing and fast offerings, and we put our trust and faith in Heavenly Father. He has ALWAYS taken care of us and watched over us. We have never lacked for food, shelter and clothing so long as we were faithful in paying our tithing and fast offerings.
4.) Earlier today our oldest daughter (see #1 above) posted on her facebook that she needs a job. Wow. She got fired. She calls it "quitting" - her boss simply stopped giving her hours, for the past three weeks! He would tell her to come in and then she would sit there for two hours "waiting to be clocked in" and finally he'd say "we won't need you today after all". After three weeks she finally caught on. So she "quit". Well, at least that way this employer doesn't have to pay her unemployment now. So now, because I'm forever a mother and will never stop being a mother, I am worried about her financial situation too. But I'm trying hard to put it behind me and not think about it. That is her life, her choices, her consequences. We have taught her that she lives up to her covenants and the Lord's commandments, the Lord will bless her. As soon as she stops, He withdraws His blessings. A couple of weeks ago I saw this coming on, when they hired a full time gal to work as cashier and put Jessica "outside" again (selling carwashes)... which is something she had not done well at before. So I knew then that she was on the way out. But her OVERLY positive attitude kept her from seeing it.
So... I sit here typing. I'm stressed. I feel alone. I feel frustrated. I feel anxious. I feel like my house is falling apart (so many things need to be repaired or replaced!) I feel like my daughter is going further and further into the Great and Spacious building (read about that vision of the prophet Lehi HERE.) I feel like my husband is tired of hearing my worries. I feel like I've been less of a mother to my kids than I should have been. I feel like there is a power of darkness is trying hard to tear our family to pieces. But when I feel all these things, I remember my Savior and what He has done for me (for all of us!) I remember the great love He has for me. I remember that the powers that are pulling for me on the other side, are greater than the powers of darkness that are trying to pull me down. I listen to music from the Mormon Tabernacle Choir and I can't help but feel His Spirit envelop me and calm me. I read the Scriptures and I am reminded of what is real and true and what is of most value.
All these things will be for my good. Of that I am confident. I know that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. In Elder Gibbons talk during the Sunday afternoon session of General Conference he made reference to the fact that when we have difficult children or problem children in our lives, perhaps we need to think more in terms of: "The Lord knew I would need this experience just as much as my son/daughter would need this experience." That by going through this it would "polish" me and help me grow in patience and wisdom. It is actually helping me become whom I was intended to become. The same can be said for Jessica.
So, I will continue pressing forward, with an eye single to the glory of God. I know in whom I have place my trust. He is my Redeemer, the Savior of the world. In Him, and through Him, all things are possible and will work together for the good of those who place their faith and trust in Him. I am so thankful for the knowledge that the true Gospel of Jesus Christ brings into my life. It is truly a lamp unto my path.
So, yes... today was a horrible day. But tomorrow the sun will rise and it will be a new opportunity to live my life again. Today is done. Time to focus on renewing myself for tomorrow. I love my Father Heavenly and I love my Savior. I love my husband and my children and I look forward to the day that we will spend eternity together, working for the glory of God and having put disease, evil, problems, and other "issues" behind us. :)
2 comments:
I am praying for you! :)
I will pray for you as well! Great blog!...Daniel
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