LET'S TRY AGAIN.....

This post was accidentally (oops!) left in "Draft" since January 2011.  But I'm going to go ahead and post it, for my own journaling benefit.

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A little over 24 hours ago, I had posted a really .... not-nice message.  I was having a terrible day/night. I was complaining.  I was having a pity party.  I wanted to just go "home" (as in..heaven) and I was really upset with my sweet husband for not fulfilling needs I had in the exact manner I wanted him to.

I've thought a lot the past day about all of that.  I feel selfish having posted such a post.  But I understand it's also part of life.  We all have our bad days... or horrible days for that matter.

After posting it, two dear, sweet friends made comments.  Just reading their comments uplifted me.  It made me feel like I'm not alone.  It reminded me that I DO have friends. Even if they don't live in the same city, they still are friends and care.  And that got me thinking.  Do *I* care about my friends and neighbors? What do I do for others?

Granted, part of my ranting was that I *DO* do do do, for my family and I feel like I'm running on fumes sometimes.  I don't do much for ME.  No one else seems to either.  But then tonight I read this from another friend's blog:

I have learned from her to serve wherever the Lord needs me. No calling is too small, nothing we do for others is insignificant in the sight of the lord. As it says in Matthew:

"Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." - St Matthew 25:40

I hope to continue Krista's legacy and always be engaged in a good cause and serve the Lord wherever and whenever He needs me. To serve the Lord we must serve others and it is in serving others that we forget ourselves and find joy and peace.

Krista passed away on December 10th.  She was under 45 years old, and left a sweet husband and two young kids behind.  She had been battling a brain tumor (cancerous) for exactly 5 years (almost to the day!)  All of a sudden she developed some liquid in her lungs, and couldn't breathe, and went to the hospital at 3AM and passed away.  Boom.  Gone.  I think many of us who know them had our hearts just drop out from under us when we learned of her passing.

Krista had a blog.  Now her husband posts on there.  He posted this message and it made me feel like part of the reason I'm so miserable right now is because I need to focus on ENJOYING serving others.  I usually don't have a problem enjoying serving others - unless it's my family.  Now, don't get me wrong.  i do love my family and I do enjoy serving them.  But what I'm trying to get at is that I think we take our family for granted.  I know I do.  And day after day, it seems that the daily family living "things" just get to me.  The quarreling.  The messes.  The never-ending laundry/dishes.  The time that Bob is required away from our family and I feel like there are times I never see him.  

I need to learn to serve my family with a happier attitude and one of gratitude.  

ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE.

Maybe that should be my mantra this year.

I know that I have been blessed FAR beyond what I deserve.  I LOVE DaveRamseys reply when someone asks him how he's doing.  He always says:  "Better than I deserve."  I think that is the perfect reply to folks when they say "Hi! How are you doing?"  "Better than I deserve!"

It is so true.  I think we ALL are doing better than we deserve.  I hate putting on a smile and saying "fine!" when in reality I'm doing horrible and feel like crap!  Or when I'm happy I still think "I'm doing great - but you should see what most of my days looks like!"

So, I think in effort to be 100% honest with all my fellowmen, I have adopted Ramsey's motto - "I'm doing better than I deserve!"