LORD, WHICH PART IS MINE?

No one told me how HARD it would be to be a mother. But I think deep down, instinctively, I knew.  I think all women know.

Lately I've had a hard load to haul. Our eldest is going through some tough times. While my heart goes out to her, it also must remain sane, firm, leveled, rational, mature, and in-tune with the Spirit.  I do have two other children that still need me and depend one me daily after all.  Ever heard of "tough love"?  That is what I'm having to dish out.  I hate it.  I think it is most definitely the toughest thing a mother has to do.

Without disclosing the particulars, one can only believe The Little Boy That Cried Wolf so many times before your heart becomes numb and stops believing all together.  Then it is a long, long road back to trust again.  She says "I mean it this time," but how can that be measured while looking through the glass of time (as recently as 24 hours) and hearing the echoes of promises made and broken?  One cannot.

The question comes to mind: "How oft shall I forgive?  Until seventy times seven?"  Yes.  What about "forget"?  There are some things you cannot forget.  At least not until the danger is past.  Another question that comes to mind: "What is the difference between "NEVER give up hope" and "never give up HOPE"?"  I'm having to learn that one the hard way.  The jury is still out on that one, but I think it has something to do with the fact that I should remember that through Christ ALL things are possible, but also they are possible really only when the person involved opens their heart and soul up to Christ and not only INVITES Him to enter, but ALLOWS Him to change their heart.  So I should NEVER give up HOPE THROUGH CHRIST, but it's normal, and even OK to give up on "expectations" from the troubled person, while completely leaving them in the Lord's hands, and trusting His timing and omnipotence.

The Lord sends these precious, valiant Spirits to us, to raise, nurture, guide, teach, love, and show them the way back to Him.  He entrusted US with this child for very specific reasons.  When does it stop being "I'm not giving up hope, and I will always do what I can to help my child!" and when does it start being "she's taking advantage of the love, the situation, the help, and has no true intention of changing the heart"?  When is the right moment to allow the Prodigal to LEAVE the home?  The father of the Prodigal did not KEEP his son home after so much evidence that the son WANTED to lead a different life.  He did not allow the son home, either, UNTIL the son was truly repentant and prepared to change his heart.  As a parent, I have found that it is not easy to know where that fine line is drawn in the sand.  And my heart wants to skip ahead to the part where the Prodigal returns and I can joyfully embrace that child in my arms, and shed tears of joy, for my child that was once lost, is found again.  But if I did that, it would thwart the entire process.

And so I pray.  I talk with my eternal companion. I study the scriptures.  I listen to the Spirit's whispers.  And I watch to see the "fruit" that falls from this child's "tree".  That is the best I can do.  It is the best anyone can do.  Then I hold to my faith. That same faith that has proved me herewith. That same faith that has carried me through the valleys of the shadows of death so many times. That same faith that has shone and lit the way for me as a beacon upon the open seas as the storms of life have come crashing down around me.  That same faith that is like an old, comfortable friend of mine.

Tonight, the "tough love" experiences have begun with our youngest.

It's funny, at this age.  She is deathly afraid of "bugs."  She saw some ants in the girl's bathroom about 2 years ago. Since that time, she has refused to shower or go potty in there.  Wow.  Really?  (I say that so easily, because I'm not 9 years old, and I'm not afraid of bugs.)  Well, recently we have had a problem with Carpenter Ants in the Master Bedroom.  You can see some of the ant "droppings" (bug parts) on the carpet, next to the wall, by the bathroom door.  (I'm waiting for Bob to get home so he and Jonathan can "fix" this problem).  So, she refused to go in the bathroom tonight, even though she had to potty really badly.  I decided to try to "lovingly" coerce her into going potty alone... "so she can learn".  So I played tough.  For AN HOUR AND A HALF!!!

After 1.5 hours of crying, tears, buggers, and "talks", she wrote me anote and brought it in.  Mind you, by this time she had "held" it so long, that she no longer needed to go!!!

Her note read (and I type in original spelling)" "Mama you dont noe haw sorey I am.  But I cant go to the bathroom witawt you. I'm so so so so sory"

My heart softens and breaks for this valinat little girl.  I'm trying to teach her something that she needs to learn.  But here gain - where is that fine land in the sand?  When is it the right time FOR HER to "learn" this "lesson"?  For some kids it's when they are 2 years old.  For others when they are 5, and yet others when they are 10.  Maybe even later.  Maybe never. 

This is when my memory goes back in time and remembers the greatest piece of parenting advice I think I have ever received.  It came from my dear friend's mother.  This sweet lady had 9 children.  ALL of them are wonderful, righteous men and women today.  NONE of them had "issues" with sex, drugs, alcohol, or anything other "bad" thing.  They're not perfect, but they are above average on the "good kid" scale.  So I asked her:  "How did you do it?"  Her answer was that it was more a process of elimination rather than a process of "choosing".  They didn't know too well what they wanted to teach their kids when they first started out, but they certainly knew what they did NOT want their children to learn.  But by far the most important thing is to remember that YOU are called upon by GOD to raise this child.  YOU, and ONLY YOU (and your husband) have the Divine authority to receive revelation and inspiration with regard to this child.  NO EXPERT will ever know better than YOU what this child will need if you follow the Lord's guidance. The Holy Ghost will tell you the truth of ALL things - especially where your child is concerned.  Do not listen to the experts.  Listen to the Spirit. 

I have.  And it has proven INVALUABLE to me.  So... why do I still find it hard to remember that sometimes? Why do I find it hard to DO?  Perhaps because I am still human and this carnal nature of mine wants to take over and have complete control over situations.  But I have to do what I can to remember that I am not the one in control.  God is. 

So, I turn to Him.  I rely on Him.  I trust in Him.  Wholly.

I LOVE our children.  It HURTS SO MUCH to have a child turn from everything you know to be true and right, and to passively-aggressively and purposely do the opposite due to enmity toward you.  All because they made wrong choices years ago, and those choices have now led them to a place a misery, un-trustworthyness, pride, and enmity.  It is SO CLEAR for Bob and me to "see" the path that has led her to where she is.  SO CLEAR to "see" WHY she is filled with enmity, confusion, anger, frustration, anxiety, loneliness, and self-doubt.  And it is SO EASY to see the path that she needs to take to get back to safety, peace, and true joy.  But it is nigh impossible to describe it all to that child.  Especially as they are filled with all those negative emotions and thoughts. 

Satan truly is wise, patient, and sneaky.  He can wait for generations, before biting his victims. 

But the Lord is greater still.  And the Power of His Holy Priesthood will reign supreme.  And I, for one, am eternally THANKFUL that His one true Gospel is in my life, shinning that beacon on my path and lighting the way to a brighter tomorrow.

Whether or not our children end up living their lives as we have taught them, will have to be up to them. This is a lesson I have been learning and internalizing the past four years.  Believe me, it is a hard lesson to swallow.  I am finally beginning to see the reality that the "real" relationship here is the one between my dear, sweet husband and me.  Not the one with our children or extended families.  I don't mean to say that those relationships don't matter.  Of course they do.  But the ONE relationship (aside from my relationship with God) that will matter most in Eternity, is the one I have with Bob.  Nothing should be allowed to damage that relationship, not even our relationships with our children.  For one day those children will be gone and living their own "Eternal" relationships with their own spouses, and the two people left in our home will be just that:  Bob and me.  No one else.  The time will be gone when we can raise and teach and train our children. 

For our eldest that time is almost past.  At almost 21 years old she has been taught and is now NEEDING to be away from the "nest" and flying on her own.  She must make her own decisions, and live with her own consequences, without interference from me and without my "reminders" that the path she is on is not the right one.

Perhaps for her, sadly, the wrong path might be the needed path - at least for a while. I would pray not.  But I must trust that the Lord will watch over her much better than I ever could, and if HE is able to "let her go", then certainly I must too.

This is the lesson I have learned in the past 24 hours.  I must let her go. 

It will be the hardest thing I've ever done in my earthly life. No question about that.

As for our youngest - some pest control, vacuuming, and TLC will do the trick for now.  But I wonder:  "what awaits down the road for her in 10 more, short, years?"


At times like these, I like to listen to this song by Michael McLean. It's titled "Which Part Is Mine?"  You can LISTEN HERE - and you can read the LYRICS HERE.

LOVING THESE "CABIN FEVER" DAYS!

Lately we've a had A LOT of snow (for Texas!) and we've been LOVING it! :)

Of course, that means that we've also been house-bound.  Now, I have read alot on facebook from various folks how its driving them crazy to be house-bound with their kids.  Most of the mothers "can't wait" until school starts again and have their kids gone and occupied.  They feel like they have to occupy their kids at home round-the-clock, hence at the end of the 3rd or 4th day of "snow bound"edness they are tired and ready to ship their kids back to school. 

I have found that reading these posts makes my heart sad for those kids.  Sad for the families.  I LOVE having my kids at home and being "house-bound" with them, and just have "down time" where we don't have schedules, classes, etc., dictating our schedule.  Now, don't get me wrong, we have plenty of our share of arguing or other issues, but by and large I love being home with my kids.  I love to have them around. I love to see my kids learn new things and see that 'light of understanding' go off inside their heads.  I love to be there by their side when they make new discoveries, or better yet when I help them make those new discoveries. You can see it in their eyes! It's exciting.  I feel like sending them off to school every day would be akin to sending off your baby to the sitters and only hearing about the time the child learned to walk, or hearing about the time your child learned to hold the cup by themselves, or the first time they learned to go potty.  No thank you.  I love being at home with my kids.  I love to be there when all those crucial and "destiny-shaping" moments happen.

Now, I'm fully aware that most of us are products of the very "conveyor belt" factory we call public education in this nation.  For a few years, from 8th grade through 12th grade, I was too.  And we do tend to believe that it is the best way,... in fact, the only true way, to educate.  Thank heavens though I was raised in a place and time that was much different, and as I look back on it now, I have come to realize that my primary education, (grades K-5th,) actually took place in a HOME school.  I could hardly believe it when I really sat down and pondered it. 

I grew up attending a private school that was held in the teacher's home.  The older sister taught grades K-1st, and the younger sister taught grades 2nd-5th.  We were all together in one class room.  We all had to buy our own desks.  I remember mine was cool because it was not only solid wood, but it was painted a cool dark teal color! I loved it.  We would do Math separately, but all other subjects we would work on together.  The teacher would bring out real-life objects to teach us lessons.  I remember learning about the parts of a fruit by watching her (and sometimes helping her) peel an orange, study the parts, and eat the orange.  I remember learning about the parts of a flower by cutting one of her flowers off the bush and bringing it in and tearing it apart carefully to see all its "parts."  I remember being assigned CHAPTERS  of history or science that our grade would have to copy into our notebooks, while she was busy Math to the other grade(s).  I remember the other kids in other grades copying THEIR chapters into their notebooks while our grade did Math. I remember that part of our education was cleaning her home.  She had a big colonial style home where the house surrounded the yard.  She would send two of the older kids to the store around the corner with cash to buy cleaning supplies, etc.  She would ALWAYS questions us about the amount she gave us, the amount the supplies cost, and the amount we got back in change, and we'd have to tell her if that was the correct change.  I remember us kids taking turns selling treats at recess time.  Three cookies for $0.20.  We'd have to make change.  We'd have to count the money earned that day.  I also remember the older boys (5th graders) would be called upon to go out into the yard, into the chicken coop, and pick out the chicken she had designated, and then kill the chicken.  They would grab it by the neck, swing it over head many times over to "twist" the next  real tight, then with one swell whoop of the arm/wrist, they would "throw" the chicken down to the ground while maintaining their hold on the head.  This would break the head off the chicken, and I remember the bodies, every single time, would hit the ground then start running around the yard!  It was so interesting to watch.  Hence I got first-hand experience what it meant when I first heard the saying "running around like a chicken without my head on." :)

We would also be called upon to clean the chicken coop, gather the eggs, separate them into dozens, and our favorite part:  adopting a baby chick east spring when they were born.  There were enough for everyone to adopt one.  We'd help take care of it and feed it until it grew up.  Then the next year, we'd adopt another chick. SO SOFT AND FLUFFY!

Each year we'd also help her set up her huge Nativity set.  This is no ordinary Nativity!  We'd begin by clearing what was akin to the "entry waiting area" (like a small family room.)  We'd set up two long tables in an "L" shape then put buckets, books, boxes, etc. all over them to create "hills".  Then we'd cover it with a homemade "background" paper (I have no idea what it was made out of, but it was awesome!)  This was multi-colored painted to look like dirty, grass, rocks, etc.  Then another "background" on the wall that was painted to look like the night sky - stars, even a comet! and of course the Star of Bethlehem.  Then we'd go to work on the Nativity - my favorite part was the "pond" made by using an oblong mirror piece with the sides covered with spanish moss and other "plants" then placing the geese and ducks on it. It looked like a REAL pond!  Then there were adobe houses (lit on the inside with tiny Christmas lights), shepherds on the hills with all their flocks, trees, bushes, farm animals, and of course the Holy Family and the Three Wise Men.  I remember one year she won the city's Nativity Contest. It was an amazing Nativity set. 

These sisters provided a homeschool for us kids.  We learned to do chores, run errands, handle a small business, do "farm work," and more.  She's take us to Church too for special events like Lent/Easter, etc. (She was Catholic).  She even has US teach the younger kids the Catholic Catechism, which, by the way, she told me I was her best teacher! Haha! Go figure! I wasn't even Catholic!

This was a true homeschool in every sense.  I learned the most from this teacher, even though at the time I didn't want to admit that. From 8th grade through 12th grade I did not need to study one whit, because I had already learned all that stuff from this humble private "home-school" in Mexico.  I was bored in school from 8th-12th grade. And because I didn't need to study during those years, I actually forgot how to study and had to re-learn that little trait when I went off to BYU to attend college!

So, back to main point.... I love to homeschool and I feel so blessed and thankful to be able to do it with my kids.  Yes, it's very hard to do.  Especially with today's kids who, through osmosis, seem to absorb this attitude of entitlement from the world around them and the media of the day.   They feel much more comfortable telling ol' Mom "I don't want to", when they would rarely think of saying such a thing to a stranger they call "teacher" in public school.  But the benefits far out-weight the costs. 

For one, we don't suffer cabin fever by staying home together.  Also, I have noticed the two times we did put our kids in public school, that when kids are in public school, they tend to have so many physical rules they must follow while at school that unnatural for a child at that age (the standing in lines with your hands behind your back, or the waiting for bathroom time at certain times of days, or the no talking or moving at all for the majority of the day, etc.etc.) that they tend to go wild when they get home.  They have SO much pent-up energy within that they explode.  They also learn quickly to be told what to do almost every minute of the day, so they are not allowed to lead out on their own and in their own direction. They *must* follow the 'norm'.  They become accustomed to being "entertained" every minute of the day, instead of learning to entertain themselves and develop their own patterns and imagination in the way that is most natural for them. Hence when they get home, and if they are "house-bound" for any amount of time, it's no wonder why they drive their parents insane!  I did notice, too, that the public school institution tends to separate siblings more than unite them.  When you study John Dewey (the "father" of modern public education), you learn that one of his objectives in designing the public school system the way he did was to separate the siblings by ages, and in due time this would help separate the entire family so that these kids could grow up believing in and learning what the Government/system was needing them to believe/learn rather than what the parents wanted their children to believe/learn.  It's all sad and evil.  Just one more ploy of Satan's to separate the family. But most people today don't have any idea what is behind public education.  If they did, they would NEVER even think of sending their precious children off to be indoctrinated in the "school" system.  And sadly, most LDS people have no idea of how the Prophets of this last dispensation pleaded and begged the members of the Church to NEVER entrust their children to the "free government schools," for it would be the ruin of our families.  Well, the members didn't listen.  Like the ancient Israelites in Joshua's day, they didn't want to stay put and follow the Lord's way.  They wanted to be and do as their neighbors did.  So, just as in Joshua's day, the Lord and His Prophets finally gave up and, in essence, said "ok - if this is what you're going to insist on doing, I cannot force you to do it the right way. I guess you'll have to learn the hard way."  So ever since that time the prophets have urged us to have Family Home Evening, to teach teach teach our kids inside our home, and to stay close to what they are doing in public schools as much as possible.  They gave us Seminary as well, and they constantly advise us to do these things to keep SOME sort of a protective barrier around our children as they learn and grow in this world. 

If anyone reads this and is interested in learning all about the standing of the LDS Church in regards to education please read the greatest book ever written on the subject titled "Revealed Educational Principles and the Public Schools" by Jack Monnett, PhD (1999).  VERY interesting, insightful, and educational reading!!!  You can purchase it HERE.  I think it costs about $16.00.

Anyway - I'm THANKFUL I can home school.  The more I do it, the more convinced I become that it is the best educational option in today's world.  It may not be what the Lord's way of doing school - only because no one supported those kinds of schools, so we don't have them any more.  But it is most definitely the second best.  I WISH we lived in a time and place that allowed and believed in and supported the Lord's model of schools.  But perhaps that's to be saved for the next life. 

Now, all that being said, I must add a small disclaimer that I do not believe that all kids get ruined in public schools.  I think there a very few who are able to participate in such an endeavor and come out the better for it.  However, I believe that's a very small few when compared to all of humanity in this world.  By comparison, I believe that as you look at, and compare, percentages, that homeschooled kids fare 99% better than their public school counter parts when it comes to not only their education but more importantly to their mental, spiritual, emotional, and even physical well-being.

I used to be a firm believe in the public school system.  I used to "one of them".  It has taken me years of research and study and pondering and praying to come to the place I am now.  Experience is a great teacher.  I hope that one day my children will be able to do as they currently hope to do, and that is to home educate their own children.  It truly is the most natural way to educate and learn.  Do it together!

I'm happy to be snowed-in and "house-bound".  I love being with my family and not have to worry about places to go and schedules to keep. Even taking into consideration all our craziness! ;9)  <--- that's my piggy smiley!

WOW! I'M INSPIRED!!!

I have visited MANY cooking blogs.  Vegetarian ones, Low-budget ones, you name it.  All in an effort to get inspired to learn and cook in a healthier manner for our family.

Did I mention I HATE to cook?

You can see the problem then.  Those pre-packaged (SUPER UNhealthy) foods in the grocery stores sure are tempting when one HATES to cook!

So, needless to say when I visited THIS BLOG, I was not expecting anything different.  But... SURPRISE!  IT INSPIRED ME!!!

I'm am so pleasantly shocked!

The recipes look delicious, AND EASY, AND QUICK, AND INEXPENSIVE!

So... I'm so "inspired" that I'm sharing. 

It's called "The Easy Vegetarian"

Enjoy!

MY LITTLE GIRL IS SICK

I think one of the worst parts of motherhood is when your child is sick and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.  Our Emily got sick today - sore throat, fever, headache, and red swollen tonsils.  She got strepp throat about 2 years ago. Then got it again last year. Now this.  She seems to be prone to getting throat infections.  She still sucks her thumb... I wonder if that has anything to do with this?  It seems to always start out as post-nasal drip/sinuses.  Moves down into the throat, then the throat gets sore, then she gets a fever, then full-blown sick.

I hope she will feel better tomorrow.  She did get a blessing tonight, and we gave her some Advil and home remedy for sore throats.  Hope it works!

Having her in my life is simply a highlight. She is so pure and innocent still, and she is so sweet.  She tries so hard to be obedient and she is much more patient than any of the rest of us. She just makes me happy - especially when she gives me her big hugs.  I love her!

I'll leave you with some of her drawing. The first two were done in Art Class and the last was just "doodling".  Emily is ALL about Art.  And she loves to draw "fashion things".  haha!

Good night!

SHALL I START OVER . . . . AGAIN ??

Well, two nights ago I was having a horrible, terrible time.  Life seemed to be sucking me under.  Not having anyone else to turn to at the moment, I decided to blog about my woes.  It was a horrible post.  I ended up just deleting it. I guess I'm glad I did. It really wasn't very nice, or happy.

Anyway, I've been thinking a lot the past day.  After having my pity party, I've come to the conclusion (yet again) that I just need to suck it up and move on.  I also came to the conclusion that I need to make the choice to find happiness in serving others.  Specifically in serving my family.  Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my family! And I do find joy in serving them.  But I guess what I'm getting it, is that I end up taking so much of it for granted. I take my family for granted, and the BLESSINGS that it brings to serve them. Hence I eventually just get to feeling like all I'm doing is giving, giving, giving, sacrificing, sacrificing, sacrificing, and never getting anything in return.  More to the point, feeling like MY cup is not getting refilled.  Therefore, how can I possibly go on serving them, if I have nothing left to give?

Truly motherhood is the most difficult career in the world.  It is the most undervalued, most unappreciated, and most solitary job in the history of the world.  The most "unthanked" job too!

Two dear friends ended up making comments on my posts.  Wow.  It really touched me and just reading their short, sweet comments lifted my spirits.  So I wonder, why can't men (specifically my husband) figure out how to do that themselves?  Just a word of encouragement!  I'm afraid my husband doesn't know what to say, and therefore he says NOTHING.  Many times that just leaves me feeling even worse. I can't say it's his fault. He grew up in a family that just never really talks.  Not openly, and not about things that need to be talked about.  So he never learned how to do that.  I, on the other hand, will talk your hind leg off if you let me, and many times I say TOO much (like I did in my post!)  So I guess we're good for each other in the long run, eh?

And yet, motherhood is still the most glorious job in the world.  The job with the greatest, eternal benefits that NO OTHER JOB will ever be able to offer. THIS is what I need to keep reminding myself of! To keep remembering.

So why am I so miserable (like I was a day ago?) Well, I guess we all get down from time to time.  I guess it's part of life.  And yes, sometimes my cup goes unfilled for days or weeks or months at a time.  That is when it is even more crucial that I turn to the Savior.  He can fill my cup faster than anyone!  Why don't I ever remember that easily?

I was reading the blog of a frirend tonight. His wife passed away on December 10, 2010.  Leaving him and their two young kids behind. Very sad.  But in his post he said this:

“I have learned from her to serve wherever the Lord needs me. No calling is too small, nothing we do for others is insignificant in the sight of the lord. As it says in Matthew:

    "Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." - St Matthew 25:40

I hope to continue Krista's legacy and always be engaged in a good cause and serve the Lord wherever and whenever He needs me. To serve the Lord we must serve others and it is in serving others that we forget ourselves and find joy and peace.”

Isn’t that beautiful? It made me remember that if I choose to look for the bright side, choose to be happy, choose to serve with a joyous heart, remembering that I am not only serving my family, but my Savior as well, then I will more easily be able to feel that fulfillment that comes when you lose yourself in the service of your fellow being.  And what more important “fellow being” do we have than our own family?

I am grateful for dear friends.  Whether the miles separate us or not, their influence is still felt.  They help to remind us that 1.) there IS someone who cares, always.  2.)  There is someone who understands.  3.) There is someone who is going through similar trials and we are not alone.  And last but definitely not least 4.)  There is someone Above who is holding us in the palm of His hand, and if we trust in Him, ALL things will work together for our good.  ALL things.

I am humbled and grateful that my Savior has reached out to me, through friends, to remind me of these things.  A nice “slap in the face, slap on the back, and “you can do it” encouragement from the Redeemer of the World!  I know that my Redeemer lives.  He has touched my life in so many ways that are undeniable. 

I am so thankful for friends that took the time to reach out and encourage me.  Those few words have made a lasting impact.

I feel much better than I did 24 hours ago.  Now I need to buck up and find my “happy place” again - remembering that I am engaged in the most important work of the world… raising our children!

Thank you, dear friends.  Thank you, my Savior!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

It's about time, eh? :)


Well, our New Year kicked off to a great start.  All are healthy and fine.  Life is good and we are so terribly blessed.  We are so grateful!


Bob is off on a Scout Camp-out right now, due back tomorrow by lunch time.  Jonathan was out last night with friends at the Dollar theater watching "Alpha and Omega" (cute movie!).  One of the girls happens to be his "interest" at the moment.  She's a cute girl, very shy, but very nice too.  He met her at Rising Generation Chorus where they both are chorus members.  It's fun to watch him go through the "liking" stages with girls and get so excited to see her and "text" her and go out on group dates with her.:)

This past weekend, the weirdest thing happened.  All of a sudden I came down with a feeling of being bloated, cramps, and eventually the chills.  And I mean THE CHILLS.  For 1 hour I shook VIOLENTLY and was freezing.  Why?  I have no idea.  I did ask for a blessing though, and as always am so thankful my husband holds the Holy Priesthood and is worthy of giving me a blessing at anytime.  Within 5-10 minutes of receiving the blessing I felt better and was then able to sleep.  Sometime during the night my fever broke (WET pillow!) and the next day I was tired and stayed in bed as much as possible.  I still had a very light "fever-ish" type sweat and feeling, but did mostly OK.  The following day, Sunday, I stayed home from Church, in bed again.  By that night I was really feeling back to normal almost.  I still took it easy though, just in case.  But by Monday I was back to normal and getting back into the routine of things.


Well, by Tuesday I had broken out with THREE cold sores/canker-sores/fever blisters on my lips.  I've only had a cold sore twice in my life, and that was in the past 1 1/2 years.  So to have THREE at the same time is a bit much.  They are painful!  So I'm still medicating them and trying to get over those.


I am wondering if these are just "signs" of another infection somewhere in my body that I'm not aware of.    I suppose time will tell.


I am just feeling very grateful for my family, specifically my wonderful husband.  He loves me so totally and unconditionally.  He is true and faithful.  He comes home to me and the kids every night.  He sacrifices for us and does a smash-up job at work too.  He magnifies his church calling (Scout Master) and  is always willing to help others in need.  People call on him all the time to help.  And we are happy he is able to.  He loves me.  This I know.  All he has done, all the "fruit" that has "fallen from this tree" has proven to me that he loves me.  I am so thankful for that.  I love him dearly and I so look forward to spending Eternity with him.
I do not know what people do who do not have the knowledge of the gospel in their lives.  I see divorce all around.  I see children's lives destroyed by divorce.  And how did I get so lucky and blessed as to have such a good and faithful husband?  I am just so thankful.

MERRY CHRISTMAS 2010 !

The Nine Family - Christmas 2010 - Volume 21

Season’s Greetings!  We hope your year has been a good one and that you are all doing well!  Our family has carried on and has felt the Lord’s continued blessings in our lives. Our quick update on each of us:

Emily - 3rd Grade

Emily Claire (9) - is now in 3rd grade.  Where has the time gone?  She is active with her Activity Day girls at Church as well as our homeschool support group and enjoying her Geology class and History Heroes class there a great deal.  This year she also joined Future Generation Chorus, a premier “feeder” chorus for Younger Generation Chorus of Plano (the one Jessica used to be a member of.)  She is learning to sing and perform in front of people (quite a feat for her!) and is doing a great job of it.  She is taking piano lessons as well as art lessons this year and really loves them.  She has quick wit, deep logic, and notices everything around her. She is also our homemaker, our worrier, and continues to be so obedient (we’re STILL not used to that! But we LIKE IT!)  She is a fantastic girl!

Jonathan - 11th Grade

Jonathan Wagner (16) - is now in 11th grade.  We can hardly believe he’s almost done with high school!  He stays active with his Scouting and Young Men’s activities, friends, our homeschool support group where he takes a German Music class, The Making of America class, a Preach my Gospel class, a New Americans Writing/Interviewing/Research class on immigration, and is also involved with The Statesmanship Club of North Texas.  He also joined Rising Generation, the “high school” chorus after Younger Generation (all three choruses are under the Younger Generation umbrella.)  He is really developing his love of music and his great voice and range, and he loves it!  However, I think the pretty girls in the chorus make it hard to tell whether he likes the music most or the girls. He is our “Mr. Fix It” man that Bob has trained well and we rely on him a great deal when Bob is not around.  He has really matured this past year, is inspired by serving others, and is developing his leader qualities.  He continues to play basketball and he was also excited to go to Philmont Scout Ranch this year and climb Mount Baldy with his troop and his dad! An unforgettable experience. He has a huge sense of humor and loves to laugh, but is a deep thinker and ponderer, and really takes things seriously when appropriate.  He’s a good, wonderful young man!

Jessica - College

Jessica Marie (20) - is now living at home again (not a big surprise for us) and discovered for herself the value of a college education, hence she is back in college and doing much better this time!  It’s amazing what happens when you actually attend class and do the work!  She works full time and attends school part time and is hoping to buy a car this coming year.  Her sights are set on a Major in Music Production, though she still has hopes of attending her Horse Whisperer School once the degree is under her belt.  Time will tell.  She’s full of life and positive attitudes!  She is still our social butterfly and loves anything to do with being around people, shopping, music, dancing, singing, being “random,” going out, and just being around more people and trying everything!  She is maturing and learning to take on more responsibility and learning about the deeper, more serious things in life.  She is a wonderful woman!

Teri Sue - continues to stay busy with homeschooling the kids, serving as the Primary Pianist at church, the Secretary for our homeschool group (a non-profit organization that she helped to start the past two years), teaching The Making of America class for the teens of the group, keeping up with the kids, the chores, the errands, and Bob.  I must say though, it is NICE to have a trustworthy son that can help drive the younger child to/from classes and activities or run errands for you!  I continue to be politically active and try to stay on top of current events, as well as news and information on education, natural health, and religion.  She is still the meanest Mama in the world. :)

Bob - was promoted to Assistant VP of Technology at Concentra Inc., and continues to love his job.  He is blessed with a wonderful company and great peers that he works with and who honor integrity, family, and hard work.  He has traveled quite a bit the past 6 months (GA, FL, RI, NJ, MA) for his job, but they are mostly small trips.  We miss him when he’s gone.  Bob has been called to be the Scout Master for our Troop, and he has put his whole heart into it.  He loves it!  It’s his “hobby.”  He loves working with the boys and helping them on their trail to Eagle.  He takes them on monthly campouts, and they have all sorts of activities the rest of the month.  It takes quite a bit of time, but it’s worth the sacrifice when you see the impact it has on these boys.  He has participated in Daddy/Daughter Dinner/Walz/Activities with Emily, went to Philmont Scout Ranch with Jonathan and the troop, climbed Mount Baldy, (lost 75 lbs in preparation for it all!,) has continued with his on-the-side job as photographer (something he enjoys doing!,) and continues to be the greatest husband and father we could ever ask for.  He leads our family by example first, has never complained, fixes everything in our lives (homes, cars, computers, tears, hearts…) and keeps the humor going!  He is definitely our hero!

This year we actually had company!  Nana (Bob’s Mother) and Uncle Howard (her brother) drove down to visit us! We had  a wonderful time being together, Nana teaching Emily how to crochet, talking genealogy, eating out, catching up on each other’s news, and showing them a bit about our lives here in Plano. We were sad to see them go, but Emily was the most sad!  She misses having grandparents around.

Bob, Teri, Nana, and Uncle Howard

 Our family looks forward to the new year with some special events happening:  Teri’s niece, Jenny L., is engaged to be married next year in Salt Lake City, Utah;  at the beginning of June, Jonathan will be traveling to Branson, Missouri, to perform in three different venues there with Rising and Younger Generation Choruses; and in late June he will be participating in a region-wide, professional production put on by the LDS Church for the year of Jubilee.  Teens from several states will be participating and it promises to be a huge, spectacular event! (think Olympic opening ceremonies!)  We are looking forward to all these!

At this favorite time of year, we pause to reflect on the birth of Him who has made all things possible for each of us, even Jesus Christ.  We pray that He will shower you with His tender mercies and blessings throughout the New Year and that we will all be able to recognize His hand in our lives.  What a glorious day that must have been for those shepherds to stand at his cradle and welcome Him to the world.  As we strive to remember that day, we send you our love and wish you each a very Merry Christmas and a  prosperous and blessed New Year!

Let us never forget the Reason for this Season...

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GIFT ... NEVER-ENDING LOVE

Each day I receive a great newsletter in my email inbox.  It's from the Love & Logic Institute.  Have you ever read "Parenting With Love & Logic" by Foster Cline and Jim Fay?  I have only read parts of it, and am hoping to finish it!  It removes the oft heard words "I wish children came with handbook!," that so many of us have uttered!

Well, in today's newsletter the quote was fantastic and I wanted to share it here:

"Have you noticed how much effort some folks put into finding just the right Christmas gifts for their child? I bet you know someone who doesn't think twice about spending endless hours - or even days - scouring store shelves for that awesome action figure, digital doodad, or doll their child has been wanting.

"Let's think about it. Is there anything wrong with this? What's the problem with spending lots of time and energy looking for neat and nifty Christmas gifts for our kids?

"Nothing. But…

"What happens when we exert more energy on finding these gifts than showing our youngsters what a gift they are to us?

"Ouch! I've done this. Yes, I've fallen into this trap! I've worn-out myself trying to make things perfect that I've forgotten the most perfect gift of all: the expression of never-ending, unconditional love.

"We're all wired to need it. All of us yearn for a relationship with someone who will love us forever, regardless of how stinky we behave. Isn't this the greatest gift we can give our loved ones? Isn't this what Christmas is really about?

"During this Christmas season, my hope is that you'll…
spend more time playing with your kids than you spend shopping for them;remember that the gift they really yearn for is you; hug them and smile into their eyes as often as possible; and show them through your never-ending love what a precious gift they are."

Thanks for reading! Our goal is to help as many families as possible.

Dr. Charles Fay

©2010 Love and Logic Institute, Inc. All copyright infringement laws apply. Permission granted for photocopy reproduction and forwarding. Please do not alter or modify contents. For more information, call the Love and Logic Institute, Inc. at 800-338-4065.

I thought that was great 'food for thought'. :)

Hope you are enjoying your Christmas season cuddling, loving, and being loved!

MORMON MEN ARE MALE CHAUVINISTS (!!! - ???)

I just read THIS awesome article on Meridian Magazine online.

It made me think several things, many of which were awe-inspiring!

But being the opinionated, non-politically correct, in-your-face-and-my-own-face-about-the-truth kind of person, the thing that I can't shake is this thought:

I find it ironic that MANY, if not most, of the other "Christian" religions in this country teach as part of their theology that WOMEN are to be SUBMISSIVE unto their HUSBANDS.  Granted, most of those churches have some kind of clause thrown in stating that the wife does not have to submit if the husband is telling them to sin.  However, humand nature being what it is... there are way too many husbands that take that submissive thing and RUN with it.  I've known many personally.  (I've even known some in the LDS church, though by percentage they are way fewer!)

Now, when I say that many, if not most, of other "Christian" religions, I say it from experience.  Not because I read it somewhere, though I certainly have many times.  I've known couples from just about every single "Christian" religion there is, and in all the cases I can think of, the wife is to submit to the husband.  And in MANY of those cases, it's not a pretty, righteous thing.

The IRONY is this:  They ALL point an accusing finger at the CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS, accusing the church of preaching and raising male chauvinists who do nothing but command their wives, and that the wives are all some kind of "slave".  I have personally had a therapist ask me, upon finding out I was LDS, if my religion taught me to be subserviant unto my husband.. insinuating that perhaps that was part of my problem!  I couldn't believe it!!

So... as I read this article, all those thougths came flooding back to me.  Having been practically raised in the CATHOLIC church, having attended MANY other "Christian/Protestant" churches, having known many people of other "Christian" faiths, and some of non-Christian faiths, having studied world religions (beginning in College, and henceforth), and having been active in my own LDS faith the past 27 years, I can say with 100% certainty that I believe that NO ONE teaches the DIVINE, ROYAL, SACRED, HALLOWED, SPECIAL, and EXEMPLARY role of WOMAN as does the CHURCH OF JESUS CHRIST OF LATTER-DAY SAINTS.

I remember when I was dating Bob back in the day, and our Church's World General Conference was about to take place, I had the thought that I wanted to attend the General Priesthood Meeting.  Mind you, this is a meeting that only those who hold the Aaronic and Melchizedek Priesthood usually attend.  It is intended as a World General Conference Session for the men of the church throughout the world, where they are lovingly counseled in the ways of better-manhood, better-husbandhood, better-fatherhood, better-sonhood, better-brotherhood and all other "hoods".  I have not known of a woman to ever attend a General Priesthood session before or after this time.  (That's not to say there hasn't been in the history of the world, only that it is unheard of and very rare.)

So, I attended.  Bob was cool about it, thought he thought, in a nice way, that I was being weird.  But that's exactly what I am - unconventional.  Well, in the 27 years of my being active in the Church I have attended 27 World General Women's Conferences, and while I have been inspired by each of them in different ways, I say to you that I have NEVER felt held higher, on a higher pedastal, than I did coming out of that General Priesthood Meeting!  Now, I know they don't always focus on just women, but that year I felt that all of the talks were about how to "see" your wife, daughter, sister, mother, aunt, grandmother, etc. as the Daughter of God that she is.  How to TREAT her like the Celestial Daughter of God that she is, how to support her, inspire her, uplift her, and NEVER command her, rule over her, uninspire her, or do harm to her either mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, educationally, or any other "-ally" way!  I came away from that meeting feeling like I had a lifetime of living and learning to do before I would ever be worthy of the ETERNAL and HIGH ESTEEM with which the prophet and brethren of the Church held women; the SPECIAL, eternal and BEAUTIFUL role of WOMAN/WIFE/MOTHER/SISTER, and the way they were trying to get the men and boys to think about women!

Being an LDS woman, I have been counseled by my husband, prophet, and Church leaders, all of these 27 years, to be the best Daughter of God I can be, to be the best Mother/Sister/Friend in Zion I can be, to get all the EDUCATION I can possibly get, to make sure I lovingly remind my husband to be of help around the home and with the kids, and to make sure I do all I can each day of my life to keep my "lamp" filled with "oil" (and that "oil" might be different things on different days!)

My husband has been the archtype of husbands.  Not only is he the world's greatest "Mr. Fix It" and fixes everything in our home and cars himself, but he sacrifices every single day to support the kids and me, he puts God first (which in turn makes me trust him more, and feel safer with him), he has never once pointed out my faults and weaknesses, he has never once said anything unkind in terms of "I wish I'd never married you/etc".  He has been nothing but supportive and loving, and self-sacrificing for our family and me.  Aside from God, he puts me first.  He has taught our children, and especially our son how to honor womanhood, first by example, then by word and teachings.  He has forgiven the most horrible weaknesses of mine, and put up with a TON of doo-doo from me over the years.  And he does not hold any grudges over it nor recall it to my memory even ONCE.  He has led our family by EXAMPLE first and always.  He has maintained his faith, has always been meek and submissive to the Lord's teachings and life's trials, he has kept all of his Temple Covenants, and he has always strived to choose the right in every aspect of his life.  If anything he has suffered through terrible times when I was the one who was "bossing" him around, or telling him of HIS faults and weaknesses, or to have put up with my weaknesses and stubbornness!

My husband is the reason behind my strong desire to improve every day of my life.  Of course I want to improve for Heavenly Father, for the Savior, and for myself and my children.  But my husband is the inspiration behind my greatest desires to improve and "be perfect even as {Christ is} perfect".  I want to be the best I can for HIM.  Because he has loved me UNCONDITIONALLY and ETERNALLY.... very much like my Savior has!  More than anything I want to make my Savior happy, and second only to that  I want to make my husband proud of me and happy!  He has never cheated on me, even in thought!  He has always come straight home to me after work, and looks forward to spending time together with me and our family.  His greatest desire has always been, and remains, to be with ME eternally.

HOW can anyone possibly think, much less accuse the Mormon church of teaching such heresies!  And what's more, how can anyone who used to be a member of this Church (or might still be) accuse the Church of such terrible things!?  Well, for the ex-members, it's not hard to figure out how or why they'd do such a thing.  But for those who are still members, perhaps they would do well to double check themselves.  I am confident if they did so in the true light of the Spirit, that they would find that it's not the CHURCH that is teaching such chauvinistic ways, but rather their church, their family, or the husband, or perhaps they themselves that are causing the issue.  The LDS Church has never, and will never teach such false doctrines.

As for people who are not members of the Church, all I can say is that they should give the Church a trial run before believing what their pastors, family, friends, teachers, or "experts" are telling them about the LDS Church.  "By their FRUITS ye shall know them."  I feel pretty confident in stating that, percentage wise, the LDS church has produced more "good fruits" than any other.

No where in the world will you see a Church honor womanhood to the heights that the LDS church does!  No where in the world will a woman be respected and honored and put on a pedastal higher than in the LDS Church.

I am thankful that this brave, inspiring sister wrote this article!  I am sad that she had to suffer through the chauvinistic trials that her husband and church forced upon her.  I pray for her, that the Lord will continue to bless her and her children, that they may always lean on the simple, eternal, and beautiful truths of the Gospel of Jesus Christ as found in the one and only true Christian Church - even the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints!

(I know, I know... I'm passionate, politically/religiously incorrect, I sound jugemental, and I need to be more Christ-like!  I know!!! I'm working on it... ) 

"BE OUR GUEST"!!

This past week Emily had a very special date!  Yes... I said "date".... even though she's only 9.

I'll back track a bit first.  In our Church when young girls are between the ages of 8-11, they take part in what is called Activity Days.  Every other week they meet with adult leaders and they do all sorts of fun activities, from doing service projects in the families and community, to creating crafts, learning how to knit or crochet or sew, learning how to cook, attending cultural events, hiking, swimming, and all sorts of other stuff.  It's all about teaching them to be responsible, manage their time, and learn to become righteous, service-minded, and productive adults in their family and society.  

So this past Friday they hosted an elegant evening of walzing and dinning for the girls and their fathers.  The theme was "Beauty and the Beast"! (I thought that was funny!)

Emily got ready in her best outfit!  We even curled her hair.  Bob got dressed up as well, and they headed up to the Church.  They had a brother from the Church, and his wife, teach them how to dance the walz and other dances.  You ought to see this guy dance!  He's great!  Emily had a grand time and so did Bob. :)  They had delicious food (ham, homemade mashed potatoes, salad, etc.) and dessert (homemade cheesecake).

Here are some pictures from the evening.  :)

A couple of these are 'fuzzy' but that's ok.  You can't always control how others take photos. :)

READY TO GO.......

AT THE DANCE.......

(HAD to put this one in, even though it's fuzzy.  Emily was so excited about the "Barbie Belle" being the center piece at her table!)

Learning how to walz ......

Walzing with Daddy.....  And he is the BESTEST Daddy in the whole world!!!

And here are all the girls singing their "menu" to the tune of "Be Our Guest"...  Below are the CUTE words to the song!  (*Emily is the third from the right, in her fancy white dress we bought her for her baptism last year! Yes! It still fits her! Yay!)

VERSE 1

Be our guest

Be our guest

Put our service to the test

Tie your napkin 'round your neck, Papas

And we provide the rest

Soup du Jour

Hot hors d'oeuvres

Why, we only live to serve

Try the grey stuff, it's delicious

Don't believe me? Ask the dishes

They can sing

They can dance

After all, Dads, this is Church

And a dinner here is never second best

Go on, unfold your menu

Take a glance and then you'll

Be our guest

Qui (WE), our guest

Be our guest

VERSE 2

Sliced ham

Homemade rolls

Mashed potatoes feed your souls

We'll prepare and serve with flair

A culinary cabaret

You're not home

You might be scared

But the banquet's all prepared

No one's gloomy or complaining

While the flatware's entertaining

(as this point, Bob, of course, picks up his flatware and makes it "dance" around the plate!)

We tell jokes

I do tricks

With my fellow candlesticks

And it's all in perfect taste

That you can bet

Come on and lift your glass

You've won your own free pass

To be our guest

If you're stressed

It's fine dining we suggest

Be our guest

Be our guest

Be our guest!